Secrets of Network Consulting
Posted by Sleazy D (SleazyD) on Mar 18 2008 at 5:11 PM
Life >> Rants

Inspired by a thread over at 7chan, here's the secrets of network consulting:

1] We only do what you tell us to do. If what you tell us to do is stupid, we might tell you it's stupid. We may not. Depends on how we feel, and how nice you are. If what you tell us doesn't reveal the whole story, then we're really, really happy to come back and fix it more.

2] If you're a dick, we will charge you the minimum every time you call us.

3] If you want long-term service and don't mind paying for it, we're thrilled to make everything work so that we have less to do. Consequently, this means that your shit isn't broken.

4] I don't care about your kids.

5] It really does take 6 hours to reinstall XP with all your crap, you piture of grandma in the background, all your settings and your 1500 applications. Believe me, I'd rather be somewhere else the whole time, and working on real problems. If your nephew could have done it, he should have. You will pay your bill or I will report you to a credit reporting agency.

6] You never get problems from CEOs, CFOs, or anyone with a TLA for a title. You get it from the office manager who hired you. You get it from people who call you up out of the blue. Any company with more than 25 people will either hire or fire you, but they always pay and you won't know you've fucked it up until it's too late.

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